Roll Table #1 - Tavern Patrons

At the Next Table in a Tavern

This is a week of firsts over here at the Master of Dungeons blog. Today we have our first roll table. How exciting! Every DM loves roll tables. Sometimes there are so many creative surprises that you can think of off the top of your head. When the players do something you didn't plan for, or you have a bad case of Dungeon Master's Block, that means it's time for a roll table.

This week we have Who's sitting at the next table over in the tavern? Feel free to print this sucker off and use it when you want to liven up the local establishment.

I like to check off lines that I've used before, so I can continue using the table in the future. If you hit an item you've used before, that doesn't fit, or you just aren't feelin', just re-roll.

d20	Description of Next Table
1	A particularly scrawny gnome is betting anyone who will listen that he can beat them in an arm wrestle. He is beating all of the patrons in the bar. When it gets later in the night, in the middle of an arm wrestle his image flickers, and is replaced by a tall, muscular human. His wizard friend had been using illusions to make him appear as a gnome, but has now passed out drunk.
2	A newly accepted dwarf acolyte is trying to explain to his priest that a vow of sobriety goes against his cultural heritage.
3	A man is quietly sitting at the table with a quill and parchment, angrily muttering about writer's block.
4	Two drunk humans are talking loudly about how humans are the only worthy race in the land, they shout that nothing is worse than a non-human, except half-humans.
5	An elf bard begins to play an energetic, upbeat drinking song on his lute. The bar quickly joins in and starts singing and dancing along. What they don't know is that the bard's halfling accomplice is using this distraction to steal anything that she can get her hands on.
6	A high-elf dignitary who is passing through town is becoming increasingly outraged at the server as she once again explains their lackluster wine menu.
7	A human family from a distant land is attempting to purchase a room and food, although they don't speak Common, they speak a dialect no one has heard of. They also don't have any valuables or currency.
8	Five elves are sitting at a table staring straight ahead, not saying a single word. They don't respond to any questions and sit there until the end of the night before leaving.
9	A hunched, withered old woman with a long crooked nose and a black robe sits at the table alone with a fresh, homemade apple pie. She offers anyone who glances her a slice of the pie. Many patrons of the bar assume she is a witch, but in reality she is an old woman who likes to bake, and is getting increasingly disappointed that no one will try her dessert.
10	Two dwarves solemnly sit at the table silently drinking ale. It is obvious that they've both recently had their beards shaved off. They are unwilling to talk about it if anyone asks, but the truth is that they were robbed by highway bandits in the night, and although they lost a near fortune in metals and gems that they were transporting, they are the most upset about the loss of their beards.
11	A fat man is hiding something in his meaty hands, and nervously tries to gaze at it when he thinks no one is looking. He has captured a fairy in a glass jar.
12	No one. The bar is completely empty of any other people, except for the barkeep, who is running around wiping tables and washing dishes, grumbling about how busy it is and he has to time to relax.
13	An beautiful man and woman sit at the table. Although sitting together they don't seem to be together romantically as both are trying to hit on anyone within earshot. They each seem very interested in a different member of the party. Unknown to the party they are succubi and are trying to lure victims into the woods to steal their souls. However these succubi are very new at the job, and aren't very good at it yet. They will flee if attacked.
14	The cook is attempting to explain to a drunk dwarf that not only do they not serve cat there, but even if they did, they wouldn't slaughter and prepare an animal that a customer brought inside in a knapsack.
15	A human and a dwarf are having a drinking contest. What the human doesn't know is that every time he steps out to relieve himself, the dwarf changes places with a different dwarf in the bar, and the human can't tell them apart.
16	A man in a long coat is standing at the table. Any close look reveals that the man is actually a halfling standing on another halfling's shoulders attempting to blend in as a human.
17	An incredibly attractive elvish woman/man strikes up a conversation with the party. It quickly becomes obvious that they are very interested in the member of the group who is responsive to their advances.
18	Six drunks of various races argue over which of their patron gods would win in a fight.
19	Two human men sit at a table across from two beautiful elvish sisters. Both of the men wear long robes. One of the men has his hood up and is wearing a false beard, and the other keeps glancing between him and the women, nervously. An easy perception check reveals that the hooded man is a skeleton dressed up as a normal man. The human necromancer sitting at the table had been told by one of the elf sisters that they could go on a date if he found a date for her sister. At the last hour he got desperate.
20	A group of three halflings wearing tattered rags sit with their hairy feet on the table, smoking and passing around a golden, gem-encrusted pipe. They've pick pocketed the pipe from a rich nobleman who is passed out at the bar and couldn't wait to give it a spin.