Thursday Quick Adventure - Skeptic's Guide to the Realms

Dr. No'velha is a studious, human genius, fed up with the world of magic and wonder surrounding him. The adventurers find him out in the wilderness excitedly watching birds through some sort of glass eyepiece of gnomish design. He is so entranced by the birds and the notes he is writing that he fails to notice anyone watching him for long enough for someone to sneak a peek at his open notebook. It reads:

Too much time has been wasted on magic. Too many great minds spend their time fiddling wands and communing with devils. Hard to believe that, although generations have been spent studying griffons, hippogriffs, dragons and even birdmen, I cannot find a single tome on the lifestyle and migratory patterns of the common NON-MAGICAL birds. So little attention has been given to them that many species I've found to have no proper name. This blue one I am witnessing now I will call a Jay.

The notebook then goes on for several more increasingly boring paragraphs about the daily habits of common birds. The reader, quickly becoming too bored to continue reading, likely begins to wonder why someone would study birds when there are so many more interesting monsters in the area.

The strange man notices anyone reading over his shoulder and lets out an excited shriek. Dr. No'velha always tries to address the character with the highest intelligence, except (as is usually the case) if they are a wizard, warlock, or any magic-focused class. 

"Well look at you all sneaking up on me like that. I see that you appreciate the work I'm doing, well of course you do, it is very important work. Those ignoramuses at the college want to spend all their time on the study of magical fire and alchemy. BAH! Saiggin warned me about false intellectuals like them.

"Now I'm going on a tangent, you look like you could use some work. I have money! As long as you promise not to spend it on any stupid wizard spells or something preposterous like that," Dr. No'velha eyes up any magic users in the adventuring party suspiciously. "Well, I suppose its to be your money anyway and you can do with it what you will."

The eccentric professor goes on to explain that his life's work is to understand the natural rules and history of the world. He is fed up with all of his colleagues explaining everything away with magic. How did the birds get to this island? Magic. What created this volcano? Magic. Why are there so many different types of birds? The gods liked it that way, why don't you spend more time reading up on the history of dragons?

Thursday Quick Adventure #5 - BEGGAR

I stumbled on this strange letter the other day. I decided to post it here to Master of Dungeons. Any morally questionable group looking for profit would likely do well working as thieves, or any upstanding group of adventurers could likely help the poor submarine captain out.

Dear Magnificent Investors,

Bartholomew Engle's Gambling, Games and Recreation (or BEGGAR for short, which also doubles as what many of our customers turn into) has long been the most profitable gambling establishment in the southern isles. Sadly our exponential increases in profits have temporarily stalled, due to hurricane season causing the ferry in to be less than appealing to the usual tourists. We've tried everything, from offering discount rates, to an ill-advised foray into hot air balloon travel (now we know that hot air balloon travel is if anything, more dangerous in a hurricane). Our newest venture however has been much more profitable.  

As you most deep-pocketed of investors surely remember, this humble gnome acquired a large submersible craft last year, after a wealthy Atlantean literally "bet the boat" playing orcish bone toss. I've had the island's most skilled engineers modifying the craft all year, and now I am proud to the BEGGAR Submersible (or BEGGARS for short). This underwater craft will travel the coasts of the most wealthy kingdoms and free cities, staying while the profit is good, and then setting sail (proverbially, the craft as I understand it uses a system of pulleys and arcane magic) for brighter horizons.

Now I know what you may be thinking, it sounds very costly to transport the profits back to the southern isles.  This is most definitely true, oh most astute of financial backers, that is why I have devised the most devious of plans. When the boat starts to get bogged down with gold and gems, I will hire a band of thieves to steal the treasure, delivering it to me safe and sound at the main BEGGAR. Then I will make an insurance claim towards those greedy dwarves, who will also deliver safely to the island. Add in the extra benefit of docking the captain's wages, for allowing this heinous robbery to occur. For this reason, and to get him out of my hair, I've appointed my dim-witted brother to captain this vessel. Maybe if I get lucky he'll go down in a blaze of glory trying to defend the treasure after three or four robberies.

As long as my brother isn't smart enough to hire additional security, in the form of adventurers from the mainland, our plan should be foolproof. Soon, I'll pay the thieves to sink the ship, as well as robbing it, the added insurance payout will definitely boost our profits, and by then hurricane season will be over and no one will be the wiser.

Your humble servant,

Bartholomew Engle

CEO of Bartholomew Engle's Gambling, Games and Recreation

Owner of 2 out of 6 Southern Isles

Venture Capitalist